I recently met a divorced woman in her forties who had just broken up with her boyfriend of two years. She was telling me about her experiences of getting back out there to date. One of her last dates chastised her for wanting to date “for fun”.
You see, she wasn’t ready for anything serious and wanted to just go out, meet nice people and have an enjoyable time. What’s wrong with that? Well, nothing. The guy she went out with was in a different place than she was. If he was looking for a serious relationship, then he needs to make that clear – that he’s dating for a committed relationship.
One needs to be kind of a detective and look for the clues. It’s all about being honest with yourself and others about why you are out there dating. For my clients who are serious about finding a marriage partner, I tell them not to beat around the bush and to make that upfront in their internet profiles and their phone conversations with their potential dates.
They don’t have to imply that they believe you are “the one” on the first date, however, they can say, “I’m looking for a marriage partner, how about you?” You can only hope their tone of their voice indicates that you can trust what they are saying and not leading you on.
If you are just looking for a pleasant evening out with no expectations of anything else, then I believe you need to be upfront and tell people what you are looking for at this time.
My premise in Motivated to Marry™ is that you need to look for someone who is in the same place and has the same goals that you do. This is when this dating will yield the best results!
Amy Schoen, MBA, CPCC is a certified professional life coach and a dating-relationship expert and specializes in helping singles to attract their desired romantic partner into their lives and couples to create the most fulfilling relationships possible. Amy is the author of “Motivated to Marry™-Now There is a New Approach to Dating and Relationships” available for purchase on her website. She is also a contributing author in “101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Vol. 2” from selfgrowth.com. To learn more about personal or group tele-coaching go to: http://www.heartmindconnection.com. You can read her blogs and see her videos on http://www.mylovebytes.com.