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Published on August 28, 2006 By MyLoveBytes In Dating
The following blog is from relationship Coach Amy:

I had a conversation with one of my single friends in her early 40’s about what she is doing to get out and meet people- namely men! Her story is she had gone to singles events like happy hours, activities and parties time and time again without meeting anyone. I articulated what I was hearing from you is, “It’s like what’s the use of trying?” “Yeh, you’re right- why try?” she mirrored back.

I was sad for her and her sense of hopelessness. It was like nothing would ever work out for her. She can’t understand why guys don’t ask her out. She is pretty, smart, and in shape as a fitness instructor. So what’s the problem?

Some people seemed open and inviting while others seem guarded, closed and with a sign, “Don’t bother me!” When we were single together, I would be scanning the room. Asking myself, “Is there anyone I’d like to meet?” I was friendly and approachable- and I smile. I think guys saw me as easy to approach. Also, since I am comfortable with myself and others, I believe they pick that up.

Some people are shy and unconfident-sometimes taken by others as being snooty or guarded. They seem closed and unapproachable. These people are afraid to put themselves out there for fear that they will be rejected. So people take this cue and leave them alone.

My recommendation for my friend was when she decides to go to an event again, to walk in with an intention such as, “I’m going to meet a very nice and interesting man tonight” I encouraged her to think in positive terms instead of the negative (her usual, “I will come up short again!”). I told her to give this a try and see what happens. What do you have to lose and what do you have to gain? As the saying goes, “nothing ventured, nothing gained….”

©2006, Amy Schoen, Heartmind Connection, LLC.
Amy Schoen, MBA, CPCC is a certified professional life coach and a dating-relationship expert and specializes in helping singles to attract their desired romantic partner into their lives and couples to create the most fulfilling relationships possible. Amy is the author of “Motivated to Marry™-Now There is a New Approach to Dating and Relationships” available for purchase on her website. She is also a contributing author in “101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Vol. 2” from selfgrowth.com. To learn more about personal or group tele-coaching go to: http://www.heartmindconnection.com. You can read her blogs and see her videos on http://www.mylovebytes.com.

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